Another Victim to Government Automatons

After another soul wrenching day, I finally left in tears. It only took an hour this time. It seems that no matter what I do, and no matter what paper I produce for them, they will not be satisfied. The fact that I am not a citizen has certainly been brought up to me enough times that I finally feel discriminated against. The most ironic thing is that I will be sworn in as citizen here on August 1st, in about 15 days...but that is not soon enough. Anyway, jumping through governmental hoops has become somewhat of a job description for me. And though I feel so close to the end of this horrible paper overcoming process, this “final step” seems to be a mirage, miraculously moving further from me as I take a step forward. Ironically, the ATM machine at city hall said “Enter to Exit” meaning , press enter to complete transaction. But this “Enter to Exit” is exactly how I feel- stick in an “oxy-moron-ic” circle of bullshit, humiliation and money extraction.

It was one of those really shitty days, you know exactly what I am talking about, and if you ever tried to set up a businesses or tried to get anything of value done at city hall, you know exactly how I feel. As the day was coming to the end, I had just one last thing to do- mail a form (of course with another check) to the government so that they can tax me more. Not a very difficult task in itself. All I need is : car, gas in car, post office, envelope+stamp. Done.
Got the gas in car, found a post office, pulled a ticket. At the counter I once again fell victim to nothing other than Incapable System and a Government Automaton.
I: “Hi, I would like to send this letter out, so can I please have a stamped envelope?
Automaton: No, we are out of stamped envelopes. “
I: “Really? Hmm...Ok, then can I please have an envelope and a stamp.”
Automaton: “No, we are out of envelopes, all we have is there,” - she is pointing at the rack of envelope packages in the corner
I: “So you mean to tell me that you are out of ALL stamped envelopes and ALL plain envelopes??
Automaton: Yes, all that we have is there,”- once again pointing to the reck.
I: “But how can that be? You are a Post Office??”
Automaton: Blank look
I: “Ok, ok, you know what,”- I walk to the rack and get a pack of 20 envelopes I don't need-”I'll just get these, and a full sheet of stamps ok?”
Automaton: “How many stamps do you want?”
I: “One full sheet of stamps please.”
Automaton handed me the stamps and rang up the total $10.75. I hand her the Drivers License and Visa credit card I have had since 2002. It is signed “SEE ID” in the back. Automaton examines the card. And with the words “I can't use this card” hands it back me.
I make sure the card is not expired. It's not, got another year.
I: “Why???”
Automaton: “It is not signed on the back, I can't use it”
I: “But I gave you the ID, that's better than a signature isn't it?”
Automaton: “No, I can't use it if it's not signed. It has to be signed so no one other than yourself can use it”
I: “But it IS me! You have my ID?! If someone stole the card, they could forge the signature, but I give you the ID”
Automaton: “I can't use it unless it's signed”
I: “You seriously won't use it unless I sign it will you?...”
Automaton: Blank Stare
I: “Ok, fine. Give me a pen.” - pause- “Of course you don't have a pen, that's ok, I have one.”

I put a squiggle on the back. She ran it. Paid.
Like I said, a Government Automaton, is not actually a human. Just a spine. This was explained to be by a lovely salesman at Vintage Vinyl as I purchased both CDs of Gogol Bordello, which I strongly recommend for rocking out and letting go.