“Squirrel File”
And so,
on a beautiful day of October 24, Amanda and Daniel decided to join their lives together in holy matrimony. They chose to do this sacred deed in the presence of close family and friends. They decided on their favorite bar -The Cabin Inn - the City Museum to host the joyous event. And that is exactly how we met, as with their decision to rent out the Cabin Inn, I, Tatyana became their host, barkeeper and helper.
The Cabin and the City Museum are possibly the strangest, most unique Museum and Bar in the world. Slides, ball pits, marble statues, ancient gargoyles, walls made of baking pans or print, brought to life by thousands of people, wedding parties, christian meetings, and much more.
So, back to my story. All was going well. The music was playing, and people were hugging and exchanging hellos. The bride was nervous but happy, her mother was very nervous and not so happy, the groom was pleasantly socializing and taking advantage of the open bar with his brother.... and out of nowhere it came. The squirrel. It did not really come, rather flew into the Cabin. It was absolutely terrified, flying over the bar it smashed several times into the closed window in an effort to escape. As I rushed to open the window, the squirrel continued flashing around the bar with the speed of light, its whereabouts were mostly apparent by people's screams. As I finally got the window open, all the people in the bar- wedding party and City Museum staff were motioning the poor trapped animal toward the open escape route.
Unable to find the way out, the terrified squirrel launched itself in the opposite direction, ran up the bride's mom's leg, causing the poor woman to nearly faint. Chaos was in the air. The squirrel then bounced off the support beam in the middle of the bar and as it flew over the groom's brother, a liquid spilled right from the squirrel and onto the grooms man's shirt.
The squirrel disappeared into the Museum followed by a trail of screams; while the groom's man was left in the middle of the Cabin bar, standing there, with his arms and mouth wide open and his gaze glued to a rather large stain on his nice shirt.
Thankfully, the City Museum is a place full of wonder, and I have been here long enough to familiarize myself with it all. Not waisting a second, I grabbed the grooms man's hand and with the words “Sir, you are coming with me” started him up the stairs and into the infamous Store Four, our very own second hand shop. As we were picking out his shirt, I tried to amuse him with stories and said that in my culture (Russia) getting attacked by a squirrel is a sign of great luck and fortune just short of a blessing, and that if anything else, he'll now have a great story to tell, will never forget this wedding, and is walking away with a sassy new shirt.
The ceremony went on as planned. The Cabin proudly hosted its very first wedding ceremony, the bride was stunning, the groom happy, and everyone ha a great time. The City Museum once again lived up to it's tag line - Expect the Unexpected. As for the squirrel... we have reason to believe it is still roaming the Museum and feeding of Bit-o-Honeys.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Snap Shot!
Anyway. So here I am now. I live in St. Louis , Missouri, which may be very difficult for me to relate to you, living in another world, you'd just have to come see it. Very different from Wien, from Moscow. Nevertheless I am enjoying my time most of the time and definitely have a job if not a purpose.
I feel I have grown and matured, yet sometimes I still get very worried and confused about my future. My memories of life in Europe and Russia haunt me, and though I smile when they come, they also stir me. I fell I can never be certain about what place in the world is right for me... I always think of other possibilities. What if I stayed in Wien? What if I did actually go back to live there a year after as I planned?
And then the realistic side comes in- "Well you are doing really well here. You have experience, you have a business. You know people. You have opportunities. Here. Not there."
Do you feel this way too? Or do you have it figured out? Do you feel that people in Europe have a different mentality? Because sometimes I feel that I am running in a hamster wheel trying to do better for myself.
You see, I was raised in a very capitalistically inclined family and society. With no rules at the time. I was told what I cost and that I need to do better. You must accomplish to live well and proud. Otherwise you are a loser.
And then just a few days ago, as I am asking myself questions I run into this:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/in_depth/8347409.stm
And this
http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=CNG.69105fc6eae7b98bc224a2a77ee79cd8.4c1&show_article=1
So how do you feel? What do you think about it all... the meaning?
Things that make me happy - my friends, my work, good drinks and music and as always dreaming of possibilities.
I did learn this about myself - I am a dreamer. That's what I live by. Always thinking of the "what could be's". Some say it's silly. And yet, that's the only way I know how to be, and the only thing that really keeps me going.
I feel I have grown and matured, yet sometimes I still get very worried and confused about my future. My memories of life in Europe and Russia haunt me, and though I smile when they come, they also stir me. I fell I can never be certain about what place in the world is right for me... I always think of other possibilities. What if I stayed in Wien? What if I did actually go back to live there a year after as I planned?
And then the realistic side comes in- "Well you are doing really well here. You have experience, you have a business. You know people. You have opportunities. Here. Not there."
Do you feel this way too? Or do you have it figured out? Do you feel that people in Europe have a different mentality? Because sometimes I feel that I am running in a hamster wheel trying to do better for myself.
You see, I was raised in a very capitalistically inclined family and society. With no rules at the time. I was told what I cost and that I need to do better. You must accomplish to live well and proud. Otherwise you are a loser.
And then just a few days ago, as I am asking myself questions I run into this:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/in_depth/8347409.stm
And this
http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=CNG.69105fc6eae7b98bc224a2a77ee79cd8.4c1&show_article=1
So how do you feel? What do you think about it all... the meaning?
Things that make me happy - my friends, my work, good drinks and music and as always dreaming of possibilities.
I did learn this about myself - I am a dreamer. That's what I live by. Always thinking of the "what could be's". Some say it's silly. And yet, that's the only way I know how to be, and the only thing that really keeps me going.
Monday, July 14, 2008
Another Victim to Government Automatons
After another soul wrenching day, I finally left in tears. It only took an hour this time. It seems that no matter what I do, and no matter what paper I produce for them, they will not be satisfied. The fact that I am not a citizen has certainly been brought up to me enough times that I finally feel discriminated against. The most ironic thing is that I will be sworn in as citizen here on August 1st, in about 15 days...but that is not soon enough. Anyway, jumping through governmental hoops has become somewhat of a job description for me. And though I feel so close to the end of this horrible paper overcoming process, this “final step” seems to be a mirage, miraculously moving further from me as I take a step forward. Ironically, the ATM machine at city hall said “Enter to Exit” meaning , press enter to complete transaction. But this “Enter to Exit” is exactly how I feel- stick in an “oxy-moron-ic” circle of bullshit, humiliation and money extraction.
It was one of those really shitty days, you know exactly what I am talking about, and if you ever tried to set up a businesses or tried to get anything of value done at city hall, you know exactly how I feel. As the day was coming to the end, I had just one last thing to do- mail a form (of course with another check) to the government so that they can tax me more. Not a very difficult task in itself. All I need is : car, gas in car, post office, envelope+stamp. Done.
Got the gas in car, found a post office, pulled a ticket. At the counter I once again fell victim to nothing other than Incapable System and a Government Automaton.
I: “Hi, I would like to send this letter out, so can I please have a stamped envelope?
Automaton: No, we are out of stamped envelopes. “
I: “Really? Hmm...Ok, then can I please have an envelope and a stamp.”
Automaton: “No, we are out of envelopes, all we have is there,” - she is pointing at the rack of envelope packages in the corner
I: “So you mean to tell me that you are out of ALL stamped envelopes and ALL plain envelopes??
Automaton: Yes, all that we have is there,”- once again pointing to the reck.
I: “But how can that be? You are a Post Office??”
Automaton: Blank look
I: “Ok, ok, you know what,”- I walk to the rack and get a pack of 20 envelopes I don't need-”I'll just get these, and a full sheet of stamps ok?”
Automaton: “How many stamps do you want?”
I: “One full sheet of stamps please.”
Automaton handed me the stamps and rang up the total $10.75. I hand her the Drivers License and Visa credit card I have had since 2002. It is signed “SEE ID” in the back. Automaton examines the card. And with the words “I can't use this card” hands it back me.
I make sure the card is not expired. It's not, got another year.
I: “Why???”
Automaton: “It is not signed on the back, I can't use it”
I: “But I gave you the ID, that's better than a signature isn't it?”
Automaton: “No, I can't use it if it's not signed. It has to be signed so no one other than yourself can use it”
I: “But it IS me! You have my ID?! If someone stole the card, they could forge the signature, but I give you the ID”
Automaton: “I can't use it unless it's signed”
I: “You seriously won't use it unless I sign it will you?...”
Automaton: Blank Stare
I: “Ok, fine. Give me a pen.” - pause- “Of course you don't have a pen, that's ok, I have one.”
I put a squiggle on the back. She ran it. Paid.
Like I said, a Government Automaton, is not actually a human. Just a spine. This was explained to be by a lovely salesman at Vintage Vinyl as I purchased both CDs of Gogol Bordello, which I strongly recommend for rocking out and letting go.
It was one of those really shitty days, you know exactly what I am talking about, and if you ever tried to set up a businesses or tried to get anything of value done at city hall, you know exactly how I feel. As the day was coming to the end, I had just one last thing to do- mail a form (of course with another check) to the government so that they can tax me more. Not a very difficult task in itself. All I need is : car, gas in car, post office, envelope+stamp. Done.
Got the gas in car, found a post office, pulled a ticket. At the counter I once again fell victim to nothing other than Incapable System and a Government Automaton.
I: “Hi, I would like to send this letter out, so can I please have a stamped envelope?
Automaton: No, we are out of stamped envelopes. “
I: “Really? Hmm...Ok, then can I please have an envelope and a stamp.”
Automaton: “No, we are out of envelopes, all we have is there,” - she is pointing at the rack of envelope packages in the corner
I: “So you mean to tell me that you are out of ALL stamped envelopes and ALL plain envelopes??
Automaton: Yes, all that we have is there,”- once again pointing to the reck.
I: “But how can that be? You are a Post Office??”
Automaton: Blank look
I: “Ok, ok, you know what,”- I walk to the rack and get a pack of 20 envelopes I don't need-”I'll just get these, and a full sheet of stamps ok?”
Automaton: “How many stamps do you want?”
I: “One full sheet of stamps please.”
Automaton handed me the stamps and rang up the total $10.75. I hand her the Drivers License and Visa credit card I have had since 2002. It is signed “SEE ID” in the back. Automaton examines the card. And with the words “I can't use this card” hands it back me.
I make sure the card is not expired. It's not, got another year.
I: “Why???”
Automaton: “It is not signed on the back, I can't use it”
I: “But I gave you the ID, that's better than a signature isn't it?”
Automaton: “No, I can't use it if it's not signed. It has to be signed so no one other than yourself can use it”
I: “But it IS me! You have my ID?! If someone stole the card, they could forge the signature, but I give you the ID”
Automaton: “I can't use it unless it's signed”
I: “You seriously won't use it unless I sign it will you?...”
Automaton: Blank Stare
I: “Ok, fine. Give me a pen.” - pause- “Of course you don't have a pen, that's ok, I have one.”
I put a squiggle on the back. She ran it. Paid.
Like I said, a Government Automaton, is not actually a human. Just a spine. This was explained to be by a lovely salesman at Vintage Vinyl as I purchased both CDs of Gogol Bordello, which I strongly recommend for rocking out and letting go.
Friday, July 11, 2008
Oh Wretched Bureaucracy, Strangler of Ambitious Souls, How I hate Thee...
Note to reader:
This post is for the most part emotional verbal vomit but is based on actual current events and legitimate frustrations. I realize that not everyone who works for the governmental institutions is a heartless asshole, and I have met a few great people in those offices. But I do stick to my opinion, that the majority is otherwise- pathetic and disgusting.
And here I am two shots later, wishing that when I say “shots” I don't mean shitty vodka, but in fact gun shots, righteously fired at human waste residing at city hall in attempts to make this world better, and for lack of better expression “more livable”. But alas, I speak merely of two vodka shots aiming to calm my nerves.
Bureaucracy-government by many bureaus, administrators, and petty officials (according to a dictionary).
Petty is absolutely and utterly correct. These are (for the most part, as there are some souls trapped in that building) pathetic creatures with no brains, abilities, souls or ambitions. Those losers in life, who are set to slow down, drive to insanity, drain and stop US- people of vision, talent and ambition. They will do their best to lower you, and make you feel helpless and at their command. They grin as they humiliate you, smile as they make you helplessly mad, and laugh victoriously in the face of your failure and sorrow. Because that is how they know that it is THEY who matter, THEY who decide, for THEY are the GOVERNMENT, the LAW, to which YOU must comply.
Never mind the fact that they have an IQ of a lamp post, and are the waste of the Earth.
In my opinion bureaucracy is one of the main reasons for collapses of great countries and civilizations. Due to this seemingly inevitable development and increase of bureaucracy, most great governments consume themselves and their future. These “offices” create ridiculous, unnecessary barriers with money traps at each step to control you and prevent you from seamlessly reaching your goals. And because it is only morons who want to and are fit to work in those building that are employed there, all the offices are filled with insecurities that can only be eased by your humiliation. Because you are better, smarter, younger and are capable and trying to do something with your life.
The processes and decision making become constrained and slow by creating more unnecessary steps in the process.
In my International Masters of Business Administration, one of the more interesting classes I took was Lean Production and Manufacturing- “the optimal way of producing goods through the removal of waste and implementing flow”. The class essentially taught us to identify and eliminate or decrease all “non value added steps” in any production process, be it manufacturing or business logistics, and I can tell you one thing, the government – the “almighty and great”, so “smart and clever” to set us all in line, is far from lean, nowhere close to efficient and if anything is incapable. It is just the opposite, inefficient-wasteful of time or energy (dictionary again).
So when you ask yourself, “Why is this world so fucked up? We all see the issues, why not just fix them now?”, I will tell you with certainty, that one of the main reasons is just that- bureaucracy. Because with this lovely government structure, even if someone on the top is capable and makes a good decision, the paperwork will have to go through so many mindless idiots on a power trip (the most dangerous kind of mindless idiot is that with authority), that it will either take close to forever to come in power or never even pass altogether.
And what is the reason for this? To make us feel that we “walk under the law” that we must comply or else?
The best part is that even if you do cross this river of death, you will then have to still pay your taxes thus feeding directly into its food chain. In fact, your entire life is their profit. They are like parasites set to suck you dry, while making you feel rightful and obedient. And I don't even know what kind if better at this point, the corrupt or proper...in either case you need tons of money to go through them, at least back home (in Russia and other “corrupt” governments) you can just give a handshake with the right bill in it and be on your way, here you have to somehow please a starving ego of a reject. Oh and how do they love flattery! Of course no matter how much ass kissing you are willing to do, you are always primarily dependent on someone's mood and “character” if you can even call it that.
The worst part is that no matter how much I criticize the government structure, or where they taxes are going, and no matter how much I want to stab someone with a pencil, on Monday I will be right back there, joyfully chatting with the IRS and fluttering through City Hall, smiling and kissing ass. Why? - because I just want to live my life, and am not set out to start a revolution...fuck, I am not even a citizen here yet, just an immigrant with some hopes and dreams.
Anyway, I am sleepy now, I guess the alcohol is setting in. Besides the weather now matches my mood. It is raining!
This post is for the most part emotional verbal vomit but is based on actual current events and legitimate frustrations. I realize that not everyone who works for the governmental institutions is a heartless asshole, and I have met a few great people in those offices. But I do stick to my opinion, that the majority is otherwise- pathetic and disgusting.
And here I am two shots later, wishing that when I say “shots” I don't mean shitty vodka, but in fact gun shots, righteously fired at human waste residing at city hall in attempts to make this world better, and for lack of better expression “more livable”. But alas, I speak merely of two vodka shots aiming to calm my nerves.
Bureaucracy-government by many bureaus, administrators, and petty officials (according to a dictionary).
Petty is absolutely and utterly correct. These are (for the most part, as there are some souls trapped in that building) pathetic creatures with no brains, abilities, souls or ambitions. Those losers in life, who are set to slow down, drive to insanity, drain and stop US- people of vision, talent and ambition. They will do their best to lower you, and make you feel helpless and at their command. They grin as they humiliate you, smile as they make you helplessly mad, and laugh victoriously in the face of your failure and sorrow. Because that is how they know that it is THEY who matter, THEY who decide, for THEY are the GOVERNMENT, the LAW, to which YOU must comply.
Never mind the fact that they have an IQ of a lamp post, and are the waste of the Earth.
In my opinion bureaucracy is one of the main reasons for collapses of great countries and civilizations. Due to this seemingly inevitable development and increase of bureaucracy, most great governments consume themselves and their future. These “offices” create ridiculous, unnecessary barriers with money traps at each step to control you and prevent you from seamlessly reaching your goals. And because it is only morons who want to and are fit to work in those building that are employed there, all the offices are filled with insecurities that can only be eased by your humiliation. Because you are better, smarter, younger and are capable and trying to do something with your life.
The processes and decision making become constrained and slow by creating more unnecessary steps in the process.
In my International Masters of Business Administration, one of the more interesting classes I took was Lean Production and Manufacturing- “the optimal way of producing goods through the removal of waste and implementing flow”. The class essentially taught us to identify and eliminate or decrease all “non value added steps” in any production process, be it manufacturing or business logistics, and I can tell you one thing, the government – the “almighty and great”, so “smart and clever” to set us all in line, is far from lean, nowhere close to efficient and if anything is incapable. It is just the opposite, inefficient-wasteful of time or energy (dictionary again).
So when you ask yourself, “Why is this world so fucked up? We all see the issues, why not just fix them now?”, I will tell you with certainty, that one of the main reasons is just that- bureaucracy. Because with this lovely government structure, even if someone on the top is capable and makes a good decision, the paperwork will have to go through so many mindless idiots on a power trip (the most dangerous kind of mindless idiot is that with authority), that it will either take close to forever to come in power or never even pass altogether.
And what is the reason for this? To make us feel that we “walk under the law” that we must comply or else?
The best part is that even if you do cross this river of death, you will then have to still pay your taxes thus feeding directly into its food chain. In fact, your entire life is their profit. They are like parasites set to suck you dry, while making you feel rightful and obedient. And I don't even know what kind if better at this point, the corrupt or proper...in either case you need tons of money to go through them, at least back home (in Russia and other “corrupt” governments) you can just give a handshake with the right bill in it and be on your way, here you have to somehow please a starving ego of a reject. Oh and how do they love flattery! Of course no matter how much ass kissing you are willing to do, you are always primarily dependent on someone's mood and “character” if you can even call it that.
The worst part is that no matter how much I criticize the government structure, or where they taxes are going, and no matter how much I want to stab someone with a pencil, on Monday I will be right back there, joyfully chatting with the IRS and fluttering through City Hall, smiling and kissing ass. Why? - because I just want to live my life, and am not set out to start a revolution...fuck, I am not even a citizen here yet, just an immigrant with some hopes and dreams.
Anyway, I am sleepy now, I guess the alcohol is setting in. Besides the weather now matches my mood. It is raining!
Friday, June 13, 2008
Sweet Naked Music Video
"Toe Jam" by The BPA
(ft David Byrne & Dizzee Rascal) Dir: Keith Schofield Southern Fried Records
(ft David Byrne & Dizzee Rascal) Dir: Keith Schofield Southern Fried Records
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
On the brighter note...
BMW GINA Light Visionary Model concept car look super awesome. The car uses fabric instead of sheet metal...though not sure how it will deal with a crash test.
You can see the pictures and video of the design here.
War! What is it good for?
Ok, next time someone tells me that there are good reasons to go to war other than money...I'll tell them they are very wrong.
The BBC finally uncovered that an estimated $23 billion were "lost" or stolen in the Iraq war. This may become the largest war profiteering in history. Wonder where it all went?...hmm names like Halliburton, KBR and Blackwater come to mind.
I must say it seems to be the same story every time. Our (Russian) war with Chechnya was quite similar. No one really knew why we went there, or when we will withdraw the troops. Nevertheless, over the years, it has cost billions of dollars and thousands of lives. Meanwhile, of course, tonns of weapons shipped to Chechnya for the Russian troops went missing, and often reappeared later in the hands of Chechens, guerillas and terrorists.
Monday, June 9, 2008
Check it
Just some new finds...mostly for "note to self" purposes
Google Reader is a good way to organize blogs and stay updated
fffoundimage bookmarking is full of see-worthy stuff
10 css examples
Some other tools to keep up with the news:
Alltop
POPURLS
reddit
hype machine
Biz Journals
Google Reader is a good way to organize blogs and stay updated
fffoundimage bookmarking is full of see-worthy stuff
10 css examples
Some other tools to keep up with the news:
Alltop
POPURLS
hype machine
Biz Journals
Thursday, June 5, 2008
work vs dating ... same rules apply?
Starting with the very first stage and until the day you part, it seems to me that in similar strategies and situations apply to management and execution of both relationships- the relationship with your "significant other" and the relationship with the company of employment.
In the beginning...
You have mutual interest. You gather more information, and if you are still even a little interested you want to get their attention and get them to like you. In turn, they are doing the same.
Moving on...
You have established a relationship. Both parties have certain expectations and desires. Hopefully they will be able to not just satisfy but also communicate with, challenge, and inspire each other.
There can also be power struggles.
I remember having trouble dating certain men because they think I am too alpha sometimes. Not girly enough, not that I'm not feminine, no...just too much of a strong, independent character. I know I am not the only one,
my mom's good friend is a very talented and knowledgeable lawyer. The boss ( a younger guy) in one of the companies she interviewed for said that although he loved her work, he didn't feel comfortable hiring her because he “felt the need to stand up every time she walked into the room, and simply didn't feel right giving her any kinds of orders or directions” because he had too much respect for her. Makes sense, having an intimidatingly good employee can undermine the confidence of a boss...some people must be alpha based on the position they are in.
Clearly, this happens often in relationships. Someone wants to be the leader. And if it is both people, there can be trouble and all kinds of drama.
Seriously, how is this not the same as a relationship or trying to date someone?
You probably don't want to have high hopes or get emotionally involved. A good strategy is probably to hope for the best but plan for the worst.
I must admit, i did make just that mistake...got emotionally involved, and definitely had high expectations... (Two things that I no longer usually allow myself in romance.) I fell for it with work. Silly me. But yes, I thought we had an understanding, I thought I could make them feel a certain way so that they would not be able to give me up. I thought if I worked hard enough and harder, and if I really put myself out there, they would never want to let me go. Well, that's when miscommunication occurred.
I thought I had a real chance, I even thought I almost have an offer. Just like in a romantically natured relationship, one may think that his/her partner is also “there”, ready to be exclusive or something along those lines. Commitment and all.
And instead I got the “thanks, but no thanks” e-mail aka break up letter. This clearly pissed me off, because I thought that since we had such a great relationship (it really was), they could at least give me the respect of an actual conversation. “Look, I know this is hard, and I really care for you too, but I just don't think this will work out. Here is why...bla bla bla...very sorry, and best of luck to you”. But instead, just an e-mailed “thanks but no thanks” .
I was crushed....well, maybe not crushed, but upset. Just like after a break up with one that you even barely cared for, your ego steps in. you are furious and frustrated, images of your object of desire, flirting and romancing someone else, flashbacks to all your now broken dreams. Thinking of them interviewing others with a big smile, of not being able to see my new friends again.
After a bit of time and venting. After some sleep and a perhaps a drink, emotions start to step away and reality comes in. Of course this happened. And probably for the best. Yes, you are a bit hurt and will probably become just a little bit more of a disillusioned cynic. But, "that's the way the cookie crumbles" this is how people grow up, we live, learn and become a little bit harder and hopefully smarter each day.
Then finally of course, you realize that this is a natural flow of things, and just because you are no longer together does not mean you did not have a good experience. In fact, you learn a lot, about relationship dynamics, about yourself, the industry and such. Besides, as they "there are many fish in the sea", and I am certain we will "stay friends".
We move on. Go on interviews, go on dates. Live. Enjoy.
Right from the introduction, the dynamics of these relationships are strikingly similar. And to me, looking at it this way allows for yet another perspective I suppose.
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